The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying (And How We Can Use Them to Help Elevate Our Lives NOW

Don’t let these regrets be yours, too

In Episode 11 of Hold the Light, I’m talking about the top five regrets of the dying, according to author Bronnie Ware.

Ware, who is an author and TEDx speaker, started a blog long ago chronicling what she learned from her work in palliative care — in caring for terminally ill people in the last weeks of their life. One blog post she wrote focused on the most common regrets of the dying, and within one year of writing that article it was read by over three million people around the world. 

You gotta listen to this episode and see what resonates with you.

My take away? Life is short. Have the courage to say yes now to a dream or idea you have.

Full transcript below or click here to listen to the episode.

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The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying (And How We Can Use Them to Help Elevate Our Lives NOW

Have you ever thought about what you might regret upon your death or as you’re dying?

I know – it sounds a little morbid, but stick with me.

I’ve talked about regrets before here on the podcast when I discussed how we can use regrets to help us to live our lives more fully. This was based on research by best-selling author Daniel Pink, who covers the topic of regrets in his book “The Power of Regrets.” Pink says, “if we know what we truly regret, we know what we truly value.” So, looking backwards can help us to move forward.

It can help us to intentionally and purposefully show up for our lives. 

I dug more into the topic of regrets when I read the book “The Top Five Regrets of the Dying” by Bronnie Ware. 

Ware, who is an author and TEDx speaker, started a blog long ago chronicling what she learned from her work in palliative care – in caring for terminally ill people in the last weeks of their life. One article she wrote focused on the most common regrets of the dying, and within one year of writing that article, it was read by over three million people around the world. 

It struck a chord.

So, here are the top five regrets she heard:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

4. I wish I‘d stayed in touch with my friends.

5. I wish I had let myself be happier.

A common theme she heard was: “I can’t believe it’s over – can’t believe it has gone so fast.”

I think we can use these five regrets as tools for how we are living our lives. To allow ourselves to take some time to get introspective and see if any of these regrets strike a chord in our life.

So let’s take a moment right now and look ahead and ask ourselves: How do I want to feel when it’s my time to leave this earth? Imagine future self asking these questions. 

• Did I live an authentic life? Did I allow my true self to be seen?

• Did I challenge myself and take risks, or did I let fear dictate too many of my choices?

• Did I allow myself to love and be loved?

• Did I feel like I was part of a community?

• Did I allow myself to feel joy and happiness?

• Did I give my soul the expansive journey it was here to experience?

Imagining yourself answering these questions could give you answers on how you’re living your life right now.

What regrets do you have … today?

A while ago I thought about this and for me, I realized that if I died tomorrow, I would regret not having the opportunity to talk with people whom I admire – the light holders of the world. When I had this realization, it’s what inspired me to finally create this podcast, something I had been thinking about for a while. It gave me the courage to take a chance and go for it, without worrying about the what ifs. It was the idea of having this regret that kicked me into action. 

So, what’s the big takeaway? Life is short. Have the courage to say yes now to a dream or idea you have. 

• Allow more joy into your life. 

• Allow yourself to be visible and seen as your true self. You look beautiful that way.

• Allow love – for yourself first and foremost, and for your people and communities.

• Allow death and regrets to be a guide on how to live your life to the fullest in this present moment.

Don’t wait. Don’t wait. Don’t wait. Our lives could be over at any moment. We just don’t know. I hope it’s not too soon… but just in case, how about we each do one thing today that we’ve been thinking about doing or saying or trying.

Thanks for listening. Keep holding the light.

BUY: The Top Five Regrets of the Dying

To learn more about Bronnie Ware visit bronnieware.com or find her on social media at @bronnie.ware.