What in Your Life Do You Need to Let Go, Downsize, or Fire?

Think about what no longer serves you, and then try this exercise

Clear the energy and let go. Photo credit: Piper Grossman

To begin something new — such as a personal growth journey, skill, relationship, or life transition – we often need to end something first. To make space for a new energy and a new way of being.

However, it’s not always easy to take that first step.

I recently heard author David Whyte say something to the effect of: When beginning, if you’re feeling any reluctance, investigate that; investigate where you’re having trouble. Start with the ground you know.

In one of my favorite essays by Whyte in his book Consolations: The Solace, Nourishment and Underlying Meaning of Everyday Words, he writes about beginnings. I read the essay out loud in a recent women’s circle I held and it inspired a group-led exercise that hit home for all of us.

Here’s the essay, and then below I pose a question that, if you’re open to it, I invite you to journal on.

BEGINNING

by David Whyte

Beginning

well or beginning poorly, what is important is simply to begin, but the ability to make a good beginning is also an art form, beginning well involves a clearing away of the crass, the irrelevant and the complicated to find the beautiful, often hidden lineaments of the essential and the necessary.

Beginning is difficult, and our procrastination is a fine, ever-present measure of our reluctance to take that first close-in, courageous step in reclaiming our happiness. Perhaps, because taking a new step always leads to a kind of radical internal simplification, where, suddenly, very large parts of us, parts of us we have kept gainfully employed for years, parts of us still rehearsing the old complicated story, are suddenly out of a job. There occurs in effect, a form of internal corporate downsizing, where the parts of us too afraid to participate or having nothing now to offer, are let go, with all of the accompanying death-like trauma, and where the very last fight occurs, a rear guard disbelief that this new, less complicated self, and this very simple step, is all that is needed for the new possibilities ahead.

It is always hard to believe that the courageous step is so close to us, that it is closer than we ever could imagine, that in fact, we already know what it is, and that the step is simpler, more radical than we had thought: which is why we so often prefer the story to be more elaborate, our identities clouded by fear, the horizon safely in the distance, the essay longer than it needs to be and the answer safely in the realm of impossibility.

There is so much to unpack in this essay: about complacency; how beginning something new requires courage; how we often keep dreams and ideas in the safe realm of theory instead of moving them into reality; it brings up fear of imperfection, of disappointment, of being seen, — or making a mistake, being bad at something.

But here’s what I want to reflect on right now for the sake of this post. This passage:

"Perhaps, because taking a new step always leads to a kind of radical internal simplification, where, suddenly, very large parts of us, parts of us we have kept gainfully employed for years, parts of us still rehearsing the old complicated story, are suddenly out of a job. There occurs in effect, a form of internal corporate downsizing, where the parts of us too afraid to participate or having nothing now to offer, are let go, with all of the accompanying death-like trauma, and where the very last fight occurs, a rear guard disbelief that this new, less complicated self, and this very simple step, is all that is needed for the new possibilities ahead."

JOURNAL ON…

QUESTION: What in yourself, or in your life, do you need to let go, downsize, or fire? You are an entire corporation — so what department within yourself or in your life is no longer serving you?  And, why?

If it’s helpful, I’ll share about what I decided to fire from my internal corporation: The employee I named Money Baby.

Money Baby has been gainfully employed for years. She lives more in theory than reality. She buries her head in the sand when she doesn’t want to deal with financial stuff. She’s relied on others to handle things. Money Baby has held on to a story that she doesn’t have financial acumen because she wasn’t taught about money or finances. It’s an old story that keeps her in worry and fear. Empowering? No.

Money Baby wasn’t all dead weight though. She’s kept steady jobs with amazing benefits and has contributed greatly, but I realized she overstayed her welcome. She wasn’t fulfilling all the requirements. I had to fire her. And instead, I’ve hired Money Manager. She’s much more well-rounded, she’s organized, and she’s involved. She has a game plan of upping the corporation’s self-worth around money. She realizes that the more she shares in dealing with the whole picture, the less fear and worry she feels about the future.

YOUR TURN

Doing this exercise can potentially feel vulnerable. We are exposing our underbelly, admitting that there is a part of us that we wish didn’t hold so much power and sway. However, it’s can also feel freeing to name the thing that no longer serves us out loud. When we name our shame, discomfort, or embarrassment, we are giving it the opportunity to (eventually, tenderly) be lifted. The charge gets taken out. 

If you are to do this exercise with others, be sure you’re in a community where you feel trust and support. Otherwise, turn to your journal, and write.

And so, I ask again,

What in your life — in your internal corporation — no longer serves you, and why? Are you willing to let it go?

If so, what’s the first step you’ll take to move forward?

Get into action, kick complacency to the curb, and do it with love and with most of all, do it with gratitude.

If you feel called, comment below what you’re letting go of.

As always, keep holding the light.

xo, Laurie