The Unexpected Thing That Brought My Aging Dog Back to Life—And Why We All Need It Too
Lessons of Light Issue #21
From dog parks to human circles, connection is the prescription you might be missing.
One year ago, after we moved from our home into a new space without a backyard, we noticed something about our 12-year-old dog, Murphy…
He seemed really old. Extra old after our move, it seemed. Like, the pep in his step was no longer. He moved slowly, refused to walk up our 3-story townhouse (his first time dealing with stairs on a daily basis), and seemed like he was coming to the end of his life. Something we all have dreaded as we’ve watched him age because this dog is the heart of our home. He is LOVE in the form of a dog.
As our son left for college this past September, we suggested that he say his final goodbye to Murphy, just in case. We weren’t trying to be morbid, but we didn’t think Murph would be around when our son came back home for Thanksgiving break.
At that time we also started going to a dog park two blocks from our new place every evening – this was a new experience for our dogs. (We also have a little dog named Penny who is 11 years old.) Prior to that we did daily walks and let them have free range of our backyard. They had each other and us. What more could they want?
Turns out: they needed their own community.
For this past year, we’ve gone to the dog park just about every evening, at the same time (minus rain or travel). In the hour before 5:30 pm rolls around, these dogs become relentless in their pursuit of us around the house, waiting to hear us say, “Is it time?! Yes! Let’s go to the dog park!” When they hear the magic words, they bound down the stairs to where we hang their leashes, barely able to contain themselves. It’s a lot of commotion, and trying to put on their leashes becomes like a Three Stooges skit because they can’t stay still. They are EXCITED. I admit that sometimes I feel a little frustrated or overwhelmed with all the heightened action until I think, “This is everything to them. It brings them so much joy.” This park is their community – the fellow dogs, the owners, the turf, the smells. All of it. They have a driving need to get there every evening.
He’s a Different Dog
The other night at the park as the dogs played and the people chatted, a fellow dog parent who was watching Murphy prance around said to me, “Murphy is a completely different dog than when he first started coming to the park. It’s like he’s had a renaissance. He seemed so old and slow when you first started coming, and now look at him.” We turned to watch Murph as he bounded around the park, visiting dogs, twirling and doing whatever tricks he had up his sleeve for Sung, a neighbor who comes to the park with a pocket full of dog treats.
Murph looks good. He’s like the elder statesman of the park, all dapper with his Airedale Terrier cut (or sometimes looking like a little bear when his fur grows out), moving about, minding his business, sniffing here and there, sometimes a bark to keep the peace (or to get Sung to give him another treat), and just having a general good time.
When I tell new people at the park that he’s 13, everyone is surprised. Like, they never would have guessed it. (We hear it about Penny too at age 11.)
A woman standing in our group overheard the fellow dog parent make that remark about Murph and said, “This makes sense. I work with older people and there is something about being in a community that helps them feel younger.”
Studies show that “social connections reduce loneliness and promote physical, emotional and cognitive health in seniors.” And that “building a community network offers support, enhances mental well-being, and combats isolation.”
And this isn’t just for dogs and older people: community benefits all of us, at any age.
We need each other.
Find Your People
I have a weekly call with three women I met at a spiritual retreat in March 2023. We’ve talked every week since meeting in Sedona and it’s like our own mini moai. We witness each other’s lives, we listen, we offer support, we offer feedback, we laugh, we cry, we cheer each other on, we talk spiritual and personal development stuff, we don’t judge, we reflect,
and we’re inspired by each other’s constant evolution.
Community is not a nice-to-have, it’s a need-to-have.
We need each other for our mental, emotional, and physical health.
And we find different pockets of communities to serve different needs, depending on where we are in our life cycle: an school alumni community; a new parent community; a sports community; a spiritual community; a music community; a business community; and so forth.
Your people are out there. You’re not alone. And if you can’t find a community you’re seeking, don’t wait: start your own. Your people are looking for you.
Community Updates
I’m creating different containers of communities to help support different needs. Scroll below to see. Women’s circles will be coming soon too — both in person in Los Angeles (or I can come to you wherever you are) and online. Keep an eye on this space for updates.
The Freedom Transmissions Book Club
Hold the Light Collective Membership
For spiritual entrepreneurs and light-holders stepping into their service through joy. Here we support each other in our growth and evolution.
You Should Totally Do It
My signature course coming back! The women in the course found community together, week after week. Even after the course ended, the connection continues.
I love this! Thanks for sharing the joy. :)
WOW! What a beautiful, inspiring, hopeful, IMPORTANT and JOYFUL sharing! Thank you! I LOVED it SO much! Thank you!