Progress is Found in the Pause
Lessons of Light Issue #12
Last week, I shared a little bit about the idea of negative space — or what some call, the sacred pause.
This is where a negative is really something positive.
When I was recently in Sedona, I was reminded that it's important for us to take a breather in our ever-busy world. Do you feel like you're always on the go? Or feel like you're always behind? Trying to get ahead... to go, go, go. I feel that – especially as I'm at a stage in my life when I am creating my own business. It's a similar feeling from my early days when I was in a band with my now husband and we were always in motion. The thought of stopping would terrify us, because if we weren't doing ALL of the things ALL OF THE TIME, who would?!
We wrote the music, performed the music, booked the shows, drove to the gigs, loaded and unloaded our gear, reached out to press, sent postcards (!) to our mailing list, recorded CDs, sold merch after the shows, found a new place to sleep every night (we gave up our apartment), and did a lot of talking to everyone we met.
Those days had an energy of momentum. Now, my husband and I are feeling that again as we are both in our ‘what's next’ phase and have made pivots in our career. In our household there is an energy of possibility and alignment and WE ARE TOTALLY DOING IT!!
I mean, literally. Doing ALL of it, just like those band days. Solo entrepreneurs.
However, through all of this, I want to remember the importance of taking breaks, or pauses. As I’m remembering – or trying to remind myself – it’s in that negative space that gives us room to catch our breath and figure out what really matters.
Negative space = positive doing.
Without those pauses, we just burn ourselves out, constantly keeping busy with the busy work and sometimes making rushed decisions. But it's those quiet moments between all the action where the magic happens - where we actually get clear on things and hear that inner voice.
While thinking about this, a memory bubbled up from years ago when my kids were little—my son was three, my daughter six months—and I was working full-time at a very well-known family-oriented corporation. Like many working parents in L.A., I was trying my best to hold it all together while commuting 1 to 1 1/2 hours each way.
When I began at that company I quickly moved from contractor to full-time employee, which I was happy to do because I was able to work from home a couple of days a week. It was humane. It was kind. It made everything a little more doable.
Then, a new leader came in — a woman — and quickly removed all forms of remote work. She didn't believe in flexibility and would walk the office floor each morning, peering over cubicle walls to make sure everyone was at their desks. It created a culture of anxiety and distrust, rather than inspiration or innovation.
A year later, after being inspired by Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg, she stood in front of us and admitted her mistake. She said she now wanted to walk by desks and see people daydreaming — imagining new ideas for the company. But the damage had already been done. The culture had shifted. The trust to take sacred pauses, to think, to create, to breathe—that was gone. And that division slowly began to decline until one day is was completely shut down.
That experience left a lasting imprint on me. It taught me something that I believe to be true: True leadership honors the pause, from an honest, trusting point of view.
What exactly is a Sacred Pause? It might be a 15-minute walk in the sunshine during your workday, a short meditation to help you feel centered, or even five minutes of journaling instead of scrolling through social media. These small moments of intentional stillness aren't luxuries — they're essential practices that reconnect us to our creativity and purpose. When we just let ourselves chill and be, our ideas have time to develop, our gut feelings get louder, and we can take our next steps with way more confidence.
We live in a culture that glorifies the hustle, where we confuse exhaustion with effectiveness, yet beneath this frantic energy lies a deeper truth that many of us are beginning to recognize. A new paradigm is emerging—one I now live by and help others step into: Service through joy.
For too long, we've operated from servitude through suffering—giving from depletion, overextending, saying yes when we long to say no.
But true service is: 👉🏻 A contribution, not an obligation 👉🏻 Regenerative—if you're constantly drained, it's time to recalibrate 👉🏻 A co-creative act—we are not here to be martyrs.
Progress can be found in the pause. But it must be a pause that's honored—with actions, not just words.
I understand the objections that might be rising in your mind: "My workplace would never allow this" or "I simply don't have time." If you have a lunch break — which of course legally, you should — you have time for a short Sacred Pause. If you still believe you don't have time, perhaps examine what's consuming your energy. Could those ten minutes of social media scrolling transform into deep breathing or reflection instead?
If you're stuck in constant doing, caught in cycles that no longer align, I want to remind you: The space between is sacred. That pause you've been avoiding? It's not empty—it's where your clarity lives.
You don't have to keep doing it the way it's always been done. There's a new way. And it starts with giving yourself permission to pause.
My family spent a week at this “dude" ranch in the summer of 2021 and we still say that it’s probably one of our most favorite vacations together. Set in Wyoming, everything takes place in on spot: sleeping, eating, riding horses, relaxing, being on the land. It was a dream. It was sweet, familial, and we met the nicest people. (The family who runs it are lovely as can be.) It’s a little bit rustic and a whole lot of wonderful. We were able to take trail rides twice a day and I even got over my incredible fear of a) riding horses and b) learning how to lope. (Read: go fast for Laurie.) When they asked what kind of horse I wanted to ride for the week (you’re assigned one horse all week), I said, “Give me some slow, old lady horse!” They gave me one name Crystal, but for some reason I kept calling her Dolly. She felt more like a Dolly — so to me, she became Crystal Dolly. They said she was sturdy and grounded, and would climb up and down steep trails like a mountain goat. She was sure-footed, and wouldn’t miss a step. But, the old girl also had a little fire to her! She was a boss lady. It was a match made in heaven.
I recently saw that the ranch still has space available this summer — I HIGHLY recommend it! My husband and I dream of going back someday. Learn more here.
Here’s me loping for the first time ever. I was so scared! But I would have regretted it if I didn’t try. I’m on the second horse, with our guide in front:
⭕️ Read, Listen, and Circle Up with Andrea Bendewald
Dre Bendewald — I just like her. I like her energy, I like what she’s contributing to the world, I like how supportive she is to others. I find her very inspiring.
She is the founder of The Art of Circling where she creates beautiful spaces for people to come together and share what is on their heart in a safe, inclusive space. I’ve attended online — and was lucky enough to join one on a Santa Monica beach last summer.
You can find her here on Substack (The Art of Circling with Andrea Bendewald), on her Circle This podcast, or on Instagram. Reach out to her here on Substack and get added to her mailing list to find out about her upcoming events. ✨
I’m working on my course called You Should Totally Do It that I’m launching at the end of April. It’s going to be a warm, supportive, co-creative, communal space. We’ll meet twice a week and I’ll bring in guest experts and light-holders to help us, inspire us, and teach us. I’m telling you, this is going to be fun! We’ll visualize, do mindset exercises, look at what stories we’re telling ourselves that keep us in a state of fear or complacency — and we’ll put momentum around finding your what’s next, or we’ll go deeper into something you’re already working on.
No more ghosting your dreams. Time to embrace leading character energy. Write the story of your legacy before it’s too late. No regrets, like this one. ⤵️
“I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me".
Not on my watch.
💬 Join the waitlist to receive future updates OR 👉🏻 LEARN MORE ABOUT THE COURSE HERE. Let’s do this together.
In this episode we take a look at how everything in our world is interconnected – from an insect to a tree, and everything in between, including us and our animals. Everything plays a role–we’re all part of this web of life. Not separate from it, not above it, but woven into it.
Well look at our purpose as conscious beings: which is not to dominate, but to serve as caretakers. We’ll explore the lasting, and often unseen, impact we leave behind, the ways our spiritual evolution unfolds, and the wisdom we can learn from animals and plants.
This offering gives us a perspective on our relationship with all life forms – to see the sacred in everything, and to recognize that every living thing has its place in the greater whole.
This is Resurrection. 🎧 Listen on Hold the Light. Here’s a snippet. ↙️
