It Starts With a Question

Sharing the words my son wrote for his graduation speech

At the top of June, my son Owen graduated from high school.

I spent most of that day walking around as if my heart had a bruise on it and someone was slightly pushing their thumb down upon it. Tender.

Our family came together that afternoon for a little pre-ceremony celebration. We made salmon and salad, Owen opened gifts, and his excitement was palpable.

I thought that I might be a waterworks factory at the ceremony, so I packed a large cotton napkin just in case. Not even a few tissues — a full on napkin.

But, turns out, I didn’t shed any tears at graduation. Instead I felt so happy for Owen because he was so happy. There was joy, excitement, and a feeling of possibility in the air. I was so thrilled to witness him cross this threshold. In that moment, I was able to hold onto a vision of this young man going out into the world and being in service, in his own unique way.

That evening during the ceremony, Owen took the stage to address his classmates. I loved his speech, and asked if I could share it here.

It gives me hope for what’s to come with this generation of leaders and light holders. I believe that curiosity is the cornerstone of change and growth, and as long as we stay curious and ask questions, positive change is on the horizon.

And so, without further ado … take it away, Owen:

It All Starts With a Question

by Owen Grossman

In third grade, my math teacher said something that changed my life. He said, in so many words, “Never trust a teacher. Always question them.” Now, he didn’t mean that teachers are not trustworthy. Instead, he meant that we should always ask why something works rather than blindly accepting that it does. A teacher tells us that the Pythagorean Theorem is a2 + b2 = c2. Okay, but why?

When that teacher first told me to ask why, he was just talking about mathematical formulas. But soon, I began to question everything in school. In Chemistry, I wanted to know why reactivity increases as you go down a group on the Periodic Table, not just that it did. In American History, I wanted to know what caused the Roaring Twenties, not just that it happened. Even in dance, I wanted to know why we were doing each movement and the intention behind it, not just what it was. 

I didn’t always get answers to my questions, but each one allowed me to think more critically about the world around me. And it taught me an important lesson: questioning the world around us is the first step to improving the world around us. Because each question represents the opportunity for change. And this principle extends far beyond our classroom walls.

My idol, queer politician and trailblazer, Harvey Milk, did this in 1973 when he looked at the anti-LGBTQ+ discrimination in his San Francisco neighborhood, which involved businesses refusing to work with queer individuals and public figures spouting dehumanizing rhetoric. He asked himself: why are queer people not given the same rights as others? Harvey realized that it was tied to the lack of political representation, and the fact that queer people weren’t part of the conversations about policies that directly affect them. So, he decided to run for office. Harvey canvassed, built a base of loyal supporters, and eventually became the first openly LGBTQ+ elected official in California. And that all started with a question. 

The founders of New West Charter did this in 2003 when they looked at public education and asked, “Why isn’t there a school that gives more choice to students?” So, they designed a curriculum that would center around hands-on learning and projects, found musicians and dancers to spearhead incredible arts programs, and built a gorgeous campus. Twenty years later, we are celebrating New West’s 20th Anniversary, and our school has successfully placed students into some of the top universities in the nation. And that all started with a question.

Recently, I did this when I asked, “Why does the mental health crisis disproportionately affect the LGBTQ+ community?” When I learned that it was connected to the decline of safe spaces, I made it my mission to create safe LGBTQ+ spaces at New West. So, this year, I organized an LGBTQ+ Trivia Night, an Open Mic Night, and a Pride Rally to celebrate the queer community. We held the Pride Rally two days ago, and I remember looking out at the hundreds of students who came and getting emotional because we were connecting through queer joy. And that all started with a question. 

And so, I invite you to question the world around you. Don’t simply take everything the way it is, but ask why it’s that way. Even when the answer is not immediately clear, the act of searching for that answer sparks change. It sparks transformation. And we desperately need that, because we are inheriting a polarized world. A world where bodily autonomy is deemed a privilege, rather than a human right. A world where in the U.S. one year includes more mass shootings than days. A world where it's deemed inappropriate to learn the story of Sally's two fathers, who love each other above all else.

But we don’t need to accept the current state of things as fact. Instead, we can question it, letting each question act as a bullet to the status quo. Because to question is to see a problem and refuse to accept it. To question is to strive for what could be, rather than be content with what is. To question is to envision a brighter, more inclusive world.

And as youth, we need to lead the way with this. We are the future, and the decisions we make today create the world we will live in tomorrow. So, as we move forward with our lives, my hope is that we continue to question the world around us. My hope is that we use these questions to pave our own path in the world instead of following the well-trodden paths of others. Because when we dare to question, when we dare to veer off the path everyone tells us to take, we create change. We create movement. And when we have the passion and perseverance to continue to question, we create endless possibilities. 

So, let me ask: what will you question?